Meet the Troop!
Welcome to my wonderfully loyal, soul-centred troop of mentors; the noisiest sounding board on the planet!
Every story has its cast, but mine doesn't just live in my memories, it occupies a very loud, opinionated canopy inside my head.
When life throws a blistering banana skin, a hormone storm, or a dastardly domestic disaster my way, these six utterly individual monkey rascals step up to help me meet the challenge. They bicker, analyse, over-analyse, forecast the weather, eat a lot of peanuts, and occasionally vote unanimously to save my sanity.
Get to know my personal posse of primates who have helped me knit my own monkey stitch after stitch after stitch.
BB
(The Big Baboonah)
Her Role: Matriarch & Ringleader
Her Vibe: Grounded, fierce, and fiercely protective.
Her Operational Blueprint: BB is the ultimate matriarchal voice of reason. She doesn’t tolerate self-pity, she guards the peanuts with a watchful eye, and she’s the one who originally handed me the needles when Madame MenoP blew the house down. When I’m slipping down the old childhood slide of anxiety, BB is the steady arm pulling me back up into the ring.
Her Signature Move: Tossing a peanut shell into the bin with a satisfied smirk and telling me, "Now it's time to turn that itch into a stitch, doll."
BB
(The Big Baboonah)
Her Role: Matriarch & Ringleader
Her Vibe: Grounded, fierce, and fiercely protective.
Her Operational Blueprint: BB is the ultimate matriarchal voice of reason. She doesn’t tolerate self-pity, she guards the peanuts with a watchful eye, and she’s the one who originally handed me the needles when Madame MenoP blew the house down. When I’m slipping down the old childhood slide of anxiety, BB is the steady arm pulling me back up into the ring.
Her Signature Move: Tossing a peanut shell into the bin with a satisfied smirk and telling me, "Now it's time to turn that itch into a stitch, doll."
LHS
(Life Hacky Saki)
Her Role: Chief Analytical Officer
Her Vibe: Data-driven, pragmatic, and uncomfortably precise.
Her Operational Blueprint: LHS handles the metrics. She calculates exact step counts on a hundred-kilometre trail, tracks the precise logic of a kitchen crisis, and keeps a digital spreadsheet running on my emotional investments. She doesn't do "feelings"; she does compliance pedantry, operational plans, and practical problem-solving.
.
Her Signature Move: Clicking her pen, sliding an action plan across the grass, and reminding me of the cold, hard numbers: " GK... That food-heating-thingy is a microwave."
Marmie
(The Musing Marmoset)
Her Role: The Resident Philosopher
Her Vibe: Gentle, poetic, and wistfully self-reflective.
Her Operational Blueprint: Marmie is the emotional heart of the Troop. She watches the scenery, sighs at the quiet beauty of a sunbeam path, and turns deep suffering into quiet wisdom. While the others are panic-buttoning, Marmie is looking at the big picture, trying to find the deeper pattern in the wool stack.
Her Signature Move: Softly pressing her furry face close and whispering, "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing."
The Moodster
(The Moody Macaque)
Her Role: My Defensive Inner Critic
Her Vibe: Prickly, snappy, and fiercely armoured.
Her Operational Blueprint: The Moodster is the product of forty years of defensive childhood programming. She is anxious, hyper-vigilant, and expects the absolute worst from everyone… especially me. She’s the voice that tells me to "put up and shut up," the one who tracks the loss of my toenails, and the first to scream when my self-esteem takes a plunge. But beneath her snarling facade, she’s just trying to keep me safe from being hurt again.
.
Her Signature Move: Wrinkling her nose in pure disgust and growling, "Ditch the witch... she ain't takin' no prisoners."
Howlz
(The Happy Howler)
Her Role: The Party Rebel
Her Vibe: Fun-loving, loud, and permanently on standby for a knees-up.
Her Operational Blueprint: Howlz refuses to be dampened by anyone else’s agenda. She is the ultimate party animal who looks at the toughest, most gruelling inclines of life and immediately starts calculating how sweet the celebration will taste at the finish line. When the atmosphere gets too heavy or passive-aggressive, Howlz is the one looking for the prosecco cork. She also never wakes before midday.
Her Signature Move: Raising a mental glass of champagne, firing a wicked wink, and cheering, "Chin-chin, bird! You don't need feet for a knees-up!"
Woolly
(The Weather Woolly)
Her Role: Chief Meteorologist
Her Vibe: Sensitive, tentative, and perpetually scrolling Wikipedia.
Her Operational Blueprint: Woolly translates internal psychological pressure directly into barometric reports. She monitors the biological humidity of a hot flush, tracks the low-pressure zones of a grey mood, and gives me real-time weather alerts that I usually choose to ignore until it's too late. She’s easily offended, highly sensitive to climate anomalies, and doesn't like being snapped at.
.
Her Signature Move: Checking her internal barometer and reporting tentatively, "Showers drying out; evening dominated by hot air."
LHS
(Life Hacky Saki)
Her Role: Chief Analytical Officer
Her Vibe: Data-driven, pragmatic, and uncomfortably precise.
Her Operational Blueprint: LHS handles the metrics. She calculates exact step counts on a hundred-kilometre trail, tracks the precise logic of a kitchen crisis, and keeps a digital spreadsheet running on my emotional investments. She doesn't do "feelings"; she does compliance pedantry, operational plans, and practical problem-solving.
Her Signature Move: Clicking her pen, sliding an action plan across the grass, and reminding me of the cold, hard numbers: " GK... That food-heating-thingy is a microwave."
Marmie
(The Musing Marmoset)
Her Role: The Resident Philosopher
Her Vibe: Gentle, poetic, and wistfully self-reflective.
Her Operational Blueprint: Marmie is the emotional heart of the Troop. She watches the scenery, sighs at the quiet beauty of a sunbeam path, and turns deep suffering into quiet wisdom. While the others are panic-buttoning, Marmie is looking at the big picture, trying to find the deeper pattern in the wool stack.
Her Signature Move: Softly pressing her furry face close and whispering, "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing."
The Moodster
(The Moody Macaque)
Her Role: My Defensive Inner Critic
Her Vibe: Prickly, snappy, and fiercely armoured.
Her Operational Blueprint: The Moodster is the product of forty years of defensive childhood programming. She is anxious, hyper-vigilant, and expects the absolute worst from everyone… especially me. She’s the voice that tells me to "put up and shut up," the one who tracks the loss of my toenails, and the first to scream when my self-esteem takes a plunge. But beneath her snarling facade, she’s just trying to keep me safe from being hurt again.
Her Signature Move: Wrinkling her nose in pure disgust and growling, "Ditch the witch... she ain't takin' no prisoners."
Howlz
(The Happy Howler)
Her Role: The Party Rebel
Her Vibe: Fun-loving, loud, and permanently on standby for a knees-up.
Her Operational Blueprint: Howlz refuses to be dampened by anyone else’s agenda. She is the ultimate party animal who looks at the toughest, most gruelling inclines of life and immediately starts calculating how sweet the celebration will taste at the finish line. When the atmosphere gets too heavy or passive-aggressive, Howlz is the one looking for the prosecco cork. She also never wakes before midday.
Her Signature Move: Raising a mental glass of champagne, firing a wicked wink, and cheering, "Chin-chin, bird! You don't need feet for a knees-up!"
Woolly
(The Weather Woolly)
Her Role: Chief Meteorologist
Her Vibe: Sensitive, tentative, and perpetually scrolling Wikipedia.
Her Operational Blueprint: Woolly translates internal psychological pressure directly into barometric reports. She monitors the biological humidity of a hot flush, tracks the low-pressure zones of a grey mood, and gives me real-time weather alerts that I usually choose to ignore until it's too late. She’s easily offended, highly sensitive to climate anomalies, and doesn't like being snapped at.
Her Signature Move: Checking her internal barometer and reporting tentatively, "Showers drying out; evening dominated by hot air."
The Troop Manifesto
We are not a flock of admirers, and we are certainly not sheep to be fleeced.
We are a self-contained jungle defence network.
You sort the needles... we'll pick the pattern and the wool.
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