Menopause Is Teaching Me What’s Worth My Energy

Perimenopause caught me off guard — not with the hot flushes or brain fog (though, cheers for those…not), but with the realisation that I’d been spending half my life fighting battles that didn’t matter.

Suddenly, all the energy I’d been pouring into pleasing, fixing, and striving hit empty… and that’s when the lesson began.

“And suddenly, this menopause thing felt less like an unpleasant storm and more like a useful spotlight.”

Honestly, when I first said that to myself, I felt a little smug. But then I thought about all the small, everyday battles I’d been fighting — the people I’d been bending over backwards for, the little tasks that ballooned into mountains, the endless striving for things that didn’t actually matter. And suddenly, this menopause thing felt less like an unpleasant storm and more like a useful spotlight.

You see, I’ve discovered that menopause has a funny way of forcing you to look at where you’re spending your energy.

That colleague who always drains you? The “friend” who only calls when they need something?

The “shoulds” that pile up in your day like laundry that never folds itself?

Suddenly, you realise life’s too short for all that.

And when you’re slap bang in the middle of a perimenopause nightmare, you start saying no instinctively — because you’ve simply run out of steam.

Well, that’s what’s happened to me, anyway. And I’ve had to do a bit of soul-searching because of it.

“I’ve discovered that menopause has a funny way of forcing you to look at where you’re spending your energy.”

Yep… that’s right. With all my hormones going doolally, I’ve realised my body’s been giving me little choice but to start saying no! It’s not me being selfish; it’s me finally listening to me.

What I’ve come to accept — and I mean genuinely accept — is that this raging midlife hurricane is making me far more self-aware. I need to save my juice for the things that actually give me joy and peace of mind. The rest can just go join the queue.

And since I’ve been noticing what doesn’t deserve my energy, it’s been such an empowering eye-opener…

… because I’ve also started noticing what really does!

“I’ve realised my body’s been giving me little choice but to start saying no! It’s not me being selfish; it’s me finally listening to me.”

Like finding time to finally work on that novel I started ten years ago, or setting aside more time (and energy!) for mentally nourishing walks.

Now, if you’re still reading, I’m hoping that means you can relate — at least in some way.

Put simply, I’ve realised that this menopause lark is giving me permission to still care deeply — but only about what really matters to me.

It’s become my internal editor with a huge red pen.

So, what’s happened to all that other stuff?

Funnily enough… very little.

My world hasn’t fallen apart, and I haven’t pissed anyone off whom I care about.

Many of the things I thought were vitally important are now just… waiting in the queue. Some disappear naturally; others get looked at when the time’s right for me.

I’m talking emails, a neighbour’s drama, the dust on the bookshelf. I’m not ignoring them — I’m just giving myself space. And that space feels incredible.

I can breathe. I can wake up without feeling I have to hit the ground running at a hundred miles an hour — but I also have the choice to do that if I want to.

“Many of the things I thought were vitally important are now just… waiting in the queue. Some disappear naturally; others get looked at when the time’s right for me.”

It’s not laziness. It’s clarity.

And that clarity feels like freedom.

So I now say go on, menopause — bring on the hot flushes, mind fog, and memory fumbles. I’m done fighting you.

Because somewhere between the mood swings and the messy hair, I’ve realised: this isn’t a breakdown, it’s a breakthrough.

“…this isn’t a breakdown, it’s a breakthrough.”

Here’s to living deliberately, caring selectively, and laughing loudly while the rest of life queues politely in the background.

Now that’s what I call a Positive Menopause Attitude.

And, as I always say with a shrug — it’s time to knit your own monkey. 🐒

(If you fancy finding out what that means, come and join me Facebook— I’ve got plans to turn this menopause lark into the baboonas cahoonas!)